Broken dreams

I always wanted to be a musician. I dreamd about it, wanted to go to music schools, wrote songs.. But lately I've been thinking about that dream. The schools I auditioned at never wanted me, and the songs I write are afwull. So a little reality check and I learned that this is the wrong dream for me. And Its hard letting go. But now I want to be a writer. I think that suits me better. But now I've got this problem. Always right before I fall asleep I make up this great storys. Breath taking I must say. But when I try to write them down it always sucks.
So how will I be a writer?
Oh
well.

Please dear someone who makes decisions about my life..
Let tonight please be like I want it to be.. or at least with one of the outcomes I have figured out. please please please
I feel like I deserve something good for once..

Do you know that feeling of seeing something in a store and you don't really pay attention to it, and then you go home and it flicks back in to your mind and you all of a sudden want it even though you don't really remember how it looked like exactly? And it becomes some kind of obsession. You go back to the store and see it and it is either worse than you tought it would be, or better.
I have that exact thing now. I saw a dress and I was like, Oh is nice but not fantastic... But In my mind it began to grow and now it is something I have to have to wear this christmas.
Gonna buy it in half n hour though.

Flower

Watched this 500 times in a row.

I can't seem to get you off my mind.